Sunday, September 1, 2013

Not Fitting In

The other day I was out trying on jeans... I'm sure you know where this is heading. And to answer your question, yes, I found a really nice pair that I liked a lot.

And no... they didn't fit right in the thigh.

Tom Platz understands our struggle.

Defeated, I came home to shower, change clothes, and prepare for the night. I had an evening out with some buddies planned. Nothing too crazy. Just some beers and pizza at a local brewery/pizzeria. I put on my only pair of fitting jeans, a large tank top, and my favorite Brixton hat, then headed out the door to meet my "friends." 

I show up early and wait outside for them. Friend-A shows up with his girlfriend. A thin girl with heavy eye make up, sporting a Slayer t-shirt (one of my favorite bands) and some skinny jeans. 

Me- "Oh you like Slayer?" 

Her- "What? Oh, this? No. I got it at Urban Outfitters because it looked edgy."

Me- "Oh."

Awkward silence. 

Isn't it like, so ironic and edgy?

Then Friend-B shows up with two of his buddies who I've never met. They're all dressed in the local usual- loose fitting v-necks and bahama shorts with Sperry TopSiders. 

I'm sticking out like a sore thumb to say the least.  

Our number is called and we go inside to have a seat. We all decide on a simple pepperoni and order our individual beers. Instantly the biting questions come my way.

"You sure you can eat this stuff?"

"Is your beer diet?"

"Won't this affect your gains?"

Jokers. All of them. 

Casually I brushed off the comments as much as I could. Acting as if they were chalk dust powdered lightly upon my tank top. I know that many of them were all in good fun, especially those coming from the only two guys I knew. Then one of the strange fellows said something that struck me like a tiger uppercut.

"Isn't Brixton a surf company? I didn't know meatheads could surf." 

That hurt. I'm not good yet... yet. But I am trying to learn. And I do call myself a surfer... because hey, I am trying to. Sure I'm not the greatest. But I believe I have the right to self-identify with whatever social group I decide. Who cares about whether or not I'm good at it- at least I'm freaking trying!!!

Eventually a swole man will be this gnarly. 

After that comment I finished my beer and a slice of pizza. Looked at my phone. Made a quick excuse to leave early and paid my fair share- even left the tip. 

On the lonely walk home it made me realize something. Not only am I unable to fit into the clothes I like. I also cannot fit in with the people I like. 


  1. What kind of douche would call their friend a meathead?

  2. Wow, the insults started before the first beer? At least you're probably the go-to guy on someone's moving day.

  3. What pisses me off most about this post is the Slayer t-shirt thing... This last summer I had to chastise my little brother who wore a Clint Eastwood/The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly t-shirt... and HE'S NEVER EVEN SEEN THE MOVIE! WTF!

    By the way... loved the street fighter reference...

  4. You are the better man for letter it roll off of your back, Coach!

  5. Nah bludd. You fit in fine with your fellow disciples. The gymbro you spot on his 1-RM PR attempt loves you. Your subs brodinists think you're swole is more than impressive, it's aspirational.

  6. Meathead....funny I wear that with pride. Even back to my days in my youth (long time ago) while in my fraternity my nickname became "meathead" or just "meat". It stuck to the point I put "MEAT" on my lifting shoes, even my baseball glove. My point is that you can wear and make it as a statement to your intelligence. You cannot have the commitment, strength, and technique you do as lummox. Personally I am a CTO and feel I fall in the above intelligence category (boasting, bad i know). Bring it on, and so should you. I know you as a highly intelligent individual. So next time, embrace it and say "yea, meatheads do surf, you want lessons?"

    1. Lol Jeff, I wear it with pride too man. This blog post was entirely satirical brother. I find it is all to easy to let ourselves become the victim rather than defend ourselves. And you're right, coming back with something like "want lessons" would be a kick ass defense.

      You're awesome Jeff.