Friday, July 6, 2012

Creatine: Prescription or poison for swole?

The news is out. 

The scientists have released their findings. 

The public has formed an opinion.

Congress has made a ruling.

Creatine is a gateway drug at best. At worst, a schedule three controlled substance. 

Surely some of us out there know what it is; a tool. That's all. Sure, can it be abused much the same as any drug? Of course. But then the argument can also be made that food itself should be a controlled substance since some of it clearly has addictive qualities.

I'm looking at you sugar. 

I once knew a man who was "addicted" to creatine. I put that in quotes because I'm still not too sure myself of how much I personally believe in creatine's supposed addictive qualities. We'll call this guy Hank. Hank was an average joe going to an average gym doing your average routine. He had gotten in pretty good shape in about six months of fairly consistant lifting. But one day things changed. 

A friend told him about creatine. Creatine monohydrate. 

Hank followed the loading protocols to the letter. His bench went up almost instantly. He found himself gaining almost two pounds a week. He was going to the gym more often; he loved being in there. He was always surrounded by women. Always wearing sleeveless shirts. Always on creatine.

That was three years ago. 

Hank is dead now. He died in a car accident on the way to the gym. Did creatine cause the accident? No. No it did not. But some would say that if it weren't for creatine Hank wouldn't have been going to the gym and he wouldn't have been hit by that low flying pesticide bi-plane tanker and exploded into flames screaming in agony. Vaporized in a chemical fire. 

But what creatine may have taken from him, his awesome life, it also granted him. If it weren't for creatine then maybe he wouldn't have been going to the gym that day. But then again maybe he wouldn't have been surrounded by women. Wouldn't be the same over-confident alpha male that he was. 

Wouldn't be the man women wanted to be with. 

Wouldn't be the man men want to be.

We all know the side effects of creatine. Massive pumps. Increase in size and strength. Decrease in body fat. Increase in confidence. Decrease in acne. Increase in sexual activity. Increase in salary. Increase in genital length and girth. 

But can we responsibly take this wonder drug to benefit us without killing us in return? Can we look at ourselves in the mirror and promise ourselves, and the rest of the Swole Acceptance community, that we will never abuse creatine again? I pray that we can, together, as a whole, make a covenant unto each other that we will no longer hurt our bodies, our minds, or anyone in our pursuit of strength by irresponsibly exploiting the qualities of creatine. 

I ask all of my readers to educate themselves on the risks and rewards of creatine use and to make a sound decision on whether or not to use it, and if you do, please do so in a controlled and prescribed manner; preferably supervised by a medical professional. 

Let us not have another die in a creatine related death. Whether or not it was the cause. People outside of the SAEH community have made their opinions on creatine clear; it is a drug. It is evil. 

I pray none of you contribute negative news against something that can benefit our swole so much.  


3 comments:

  1. I once knew a man who was "addicted" to creatine. I put that in quotes because I'm still not too sure myself of how much I personally believe in creatine's supposed addictive qualities. We'll call this guy Hank. Daily Supplement Deals

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